Someone I Can Trust
by HeatSink
Summary: "I want something to go right. Just once..." The story of how two friends and comrades came to be something more. Rate M for adult themes in  much  later chapters. A Garrus and FemShep romance that sticks closely to the games.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note:** This is my first fanfiction about a video game. I'm a huge BioWare fan and thought I should finally put my own thoughts into a story about some of my favorite characters. This piece is rated M for (much!) later chapters, but it's not just a smut story.

**Disclaimer:** Everything belongs to BioWare. I own nothing!

Every morning, Garrus Vakarian spent a few minutes just staring at the forward battery. For the rest of the day, he would work tirelessly, optimizing firing algorithms, calibrating… but the beginning of the day was dedicated to one thing: convincing himself that all this was real – Shepard was back and he was working with her again, saving the galaxy… that he hadn't died on Omega and was now in some kind of heaven he didn't deserve. Over the past few years, Garrus had hit rock bottom and he knew it.

He had been in Chellick's office, arguing over a case, when the news hit.

"**We've received word that the Alliance ship, SSV Normandy SR-1, has been attacked while investigating possible geth activity in the Terminus systems. Rescue teams have already found some survivors, but Commander Shepard, Savior of the Citadel, is still missing." **

Everything slowed down. A part of him knew there were people running around him, yelling and frantic, but he couldn't hear them. He couldn't focus on anything except that the Commander was missing.

Chellick was in his face. Eyes darting left and right, mandibles twitching.

"**Officer Vakarian!"**

The memory of Shepard slowly rising from the rubble in the Citadel Tower replayed over and over in his mind. Her strange pale human skin tinted blue from the dust and bruises. But she was smiling. If she had survived that… there was no way she could… No way…

"**Officer Vakarian!"**

_She's just missing_, he thought. _Sovereign couldn't take her down. She's just…_ But deep down, Garrus knew what the chill in his blood meant. He felt colder now than he ever had on Noveria.

"**Garrus!" **

The talons on his shoulder finally brought him back to C-Sec, to Chellick's office. "What?" his gravely voice whispered.

"You should go see Executor Pallin. Or that human councilor, Anderson," Chellick said, his voice firm. "See if they know something the media doesn't."

_Pallin… Anderson… _Garrus was struggling to bring any meaning to these names. Still consumed by the memory of such a small woman standing on that pile of rubble. Smiling.

Finally, something clicked. "Shepard could still be alive. They'll have a team looking for her."

"It's possible." Chellick nodded.

"I'm going to be on that team," Garrus said, his eyes hardening as he stormed out of the office.

The soft hum of the battery brought him back to the present.

_We never found you_, Garrus thought.

Kaidan had pushed his way onto the rescue team. It was the first time Garrus had ever seen the human question his superiors. He had never warmed to Kaidan. He was impressed by his abilities, but to Garrus, Kaidan was more like a varren than a man. _A varren who had obediently abandoned his master._ In his report, Kaidan had made the point of saying again and again that Shepard had **ordered** him to leave, while she went after Joker.

"She's my commanding officer!" Kaidan yelled. "She gave an order- I had to! I-" His voice was strained. His usually smooth, tanned face was splotchy and red. His cheeks looked gaunt, but his eyes were swollen.

Garrus hadn't asked the biotic for an explanation. Alenko had just started talking. Garrus was trying to keep his anger at bay until they found Shepard. But the fool's constant prattle and excuses were starting to make that very difficult. "How very turian of you, Alenko," he spat. "Hear an order and you obey. No matter the consequences."

"That's not fair, Garrus," Kaidan whispered. "You weren't there. You-"

The turian's resolve snapped. His talons gripped Kaidan's N7 suit and shoved him against the metal wall of the freighter. He lifted the human up so that their eyes were level.

"Obviously I wasn't there. We wouldn't be here, if I had been!" His voice was like acid. Kaidan didn't fight back. He hadn't even tried to protect himself with his biotics when Garrus had attacked him.

_He's just a boy, Vakarian._ Garrus's plated muscles relaxed under his suit, setting the human down. He opened his mouth and thought about apologizing, but couldn't bring himself to say another word to Kaidan. _He doesn't deserve me shoving guilt in his face, but he also doesn't deserve to feel better either_. He took a step back and turned as Kaidan slid to the floor.

They found Joker not long after that. During his time on the Normandy, Garrus had never seen the pilot be anything but a smartass. Garrus would never forget the sight that greeted them when they opened the escape pod. Joker was lying on the floor, in his own filth, holding his arm, mumbling incoherently.

"Joker!" Kaidan pushed passed Garrus.

The other man didn't look up. He didn't seem to register that anyone else was there. Kaidan reached out to touch Joker's shoulder then hesitated. Joker was still mumbling. Garrus stepped inside the pod, using his turian hearing to try to make sense of what the man was saying.

"They're coming around… another attack."

Joker was slurring, his words catching on heavy breath every so often.

"Arm… watch the…" His grip tightened on his twisted, obviously broken arm. Garrus saw Kaidan swallow and attempt to touch Joker again, but the turian stopped him. Joker was obviously reliving what happened during the crash. If they were going to find Shepard, they needed him to finish.

"Explosion." Joker closed his eyes, new tears gathered, ready to trace the stains left by the old ones.

"Commander." His voice rose a little, to a volume Kaidan could understand.

"_Shepard!"_ His outburst caused Garrus, Kaidan, and the rest of the rescue team to jump. Garrus's mandibles twitched as he listened to the strange noises Joker began to make. He had seen humans cry in vids, but it was usually a woman and more controlled than this. The sounds the Joker was making were erratic, never in the same pitch. It hurt to hear.

Kaidan finally put a hand on Joker's shoulder. "Jeff," he whispered.

Joker looked up, dazed. It took him a few moments to register who it was. "Kaidan?"

"Yeah. It's me. It's alright now," Kaidan said, squeezing his friend's shoulder softly.

"We're going to get you out of here," Garrus said, stepping directly behind Kaidan.

Joker's eyes widened slightly upon seeing the turian, but glazed over again. "You're here too, Garrus?"

Garrus rubbed three talons against his armored leg, much like a human does when their palms sweat, but the dry friction was meant to keep the turian calm. Normal, every day human practices were strange to him. He had no idea what to do in this kind of situation. He wanted to ask about Shepard, but the man was obviously traumatized. He wished Kaidan had waited a little longer before bringing the man back to reality.

"I'm sorry, Kaidan," Joker said after a long pause.

Garrus saw Kaidan's jaw tighten. His hand dropped from Joker's shoulder, shaking.

"I told her to leave me," Joker continued. "Said I wanted to stay with the Normandy. But you know the commander… She threw me into the escape pod. She was right behind me."

He paused, struggling to find the strength to continue. Garrus growled softly, his patience wearing thin. "Where is she, Joker?" His voice harsher than he intended.

"She was right behind me," Joker repeated. "The explosion knocked her back. I tried to reach out for her. She was too far. I called to her. I tried. I **tried. **She hit the button to close the pod. I-" Joker's head fell to his chest, shaking back and forth.

Garrus's jaw slacked. He looked to Alenko. The man was whiter than a corpse. "Then what?" he asked. Kaidan fell back, his hands coming up to his mouth. Garrus snarled and pushed passed him to Joker, and yelled, "She pressed the button and then what?"

Joker still didn't answer. He was sobbing again. No longer caring about human customs or Joker's disease, Garrus grabbed the pilot roughly, shaking him. "Where is Shepard, Joker?"

"_She's gone." _

In the forward battery, Garrus mouthed the words said to him two years ago. In all of his time at C-Sec, Garrus had never felt such anger, such rage. He couldn't really remember what happened after that. He was told later that he started tearing the pod apart. He threatened Alenko and Joker.

He felt bad about it now. They were grieving just as he was. But at the time, all he could think was that they had allowed for Shepard to die. He didn't like to get emotional, didn't like attachment. But Shepard had surprised him in so many ways with her seemingly endless strength and the faith she had put in him. Before her, he had always made decisions based on what others thought was best for him. He had wanted to be a spectre, but instead honored his father's wishes to join C-Sec. Then at C-Sec, he let criminals go because of orders and regulations. But Shepard wanted him speak his mind. She offered advice and gave him direction. She instilled in him the courage to go against his father and enter spectre training. She was his friend, his mentor. And now…

"_She's gone_."

A distant clanking sound and Gardner's curses broke Garrus's train of thought. If the old man was cooking, that meant the crew would be up soon. He shook his head, reprimanding himself for not being hard at work already. The motion caused some pain in his jaw. He winced slightly and cautiously touched the bandage. The wound and the pain was usually what let him know that he was alive and this was all real. If he was in some kind of afterlife, he was sure he was too vain to leave half of his face behind.

Taking a deep breath, he reminded himself of the facts: Shepard was back. She was gathering a talented, albeit eccentric team to stop the Collectors… the Reapers. The odds were astronomical. It was a suicide mission. And she had asked him to tag along.

_Just like old times_. Garrus smirked.

**Author's Note**: Thanks for reading! I see Femshep and Garrus's romance as a gradual thing, so it is going to be a few chapters before I get to anything lovey-dovey. This is kind of their journey to the "love scene" before the suicide mission, which I do plan on writing (hence the M rating). Please review!


	2. On the Horizon

**Author's Note**: I realized I didn't give any information about the background of my Shepard in the last chapter. In this fic, Shepard is on the Paragon pace and is a Spacer/war hero. I don't plan on using Shepard's first name, though, since that always seems to rub me the wrong way in other fics.

Special thanks to Jokerine, Lightan117, and RayneEthelWolf for reviewing!

**Disclaimer:** Everything belongs to BioWare. I own nothing!

Shepard listened to the soft hum of the Normandy, a smile tugging at her lips. She reached for a warm body that was not there. As her slender fingers crossed the middle of the bed, Shepard truly believed she would feel the soft curves of Kaidan's back. Even after hands grasped nothing but air, the illusion remained unbroken. _Already up,_ she thought. _Someone wants a promotion_. Eyes still closed, Shepard rolled on her back.

That was when everything came crashing down.

It was the little things: the bed was too soft, the ship too quiet, the air too clean, and the sheets felt too new… or recently ironed. Since Shepard first arrived on the Normandy SV2, she began each day with a slight panic attack at these little details. Gripping the sheets tightly, she gasped for air, remembering when she ran out and the coldness of space seeped through every pore until she couldn't tell where her body began and the atmosphere ended. Small beads of sweat formed at her hairline. She closed her eyes again and forced herself to remain calm. _You're alive_, she repeated until her heartbeat slowed to a normal pace. _You're alive._

"**Commander?"** EDI chimed. **"Should I alert Doctor Chakwas?"**

Shepard took a deep breath before answering. "No, EDI, that won't be necessary." Her tone was understandably annoyed. She pushed herself to a sitting position in the large, empty bed. Using her thumb and index finger, she lightly massaged the sides of face until the tension had mostly receded.

"**I did not mean to intrude, commander," **EDI said, **"Logging you out, Shepard."**

Shepard sighed. She knew EDI didn't have **feelings**, but she didn't like starting her day off by yelling at someone concerned for her well-being. _Even if that someone is a machine_.

The commander swung her legs over the side of the bed before walking with shaky knees to her private bathroom. She poured herself a glass of water before giving her reflection any attention. She relaxed, feeling the cool liquid travel down her throat and spread through her new Cerberus-built body. She groaned, remembering her debt to the terrorist organization and inspected her scars like she did every morning. They were slowly fading. She rubbed her fingers along the glowing red lines, the one just below her cheekbone, being the most noticeable. In time, if she had a positive outlook and performed good deeds (or if she decided to spend the creds on the proper equipment), they would disappear. But Shepard knew she would never forget that this was not completely the body she was born with. "Meat and tubes," she said, thinking back on her first conversation with Jacob Taylor.

She splashed water on her face. It was oddly comforting that she could still find moments to be vain, while attempting to save the galaxy from the Reapers… again. _Besides, _she thought, turning her head side to side, _they aren't as bad as Garrus's._ It seemed like the past two years had scarred everyone she knew in some way or another – Garrus Vakarian more visibly than others. When she was in one of these moods, Shepard often thought the turian. He provided her with a sense of stability as well as hope. She wished Tali had joined them after Freedom's Progress. Shepard could tell her old friend was still **Tali**, but something had changed. The quarian was… less trustful and a bit sad. She had moved onto some new, apparently secret chapter of her life. Shepard had begun to expect that it would be the same for the rest of the crew, but Garrus had surprised her by immediately agreeing to walk into hell with her for a second time.

_And that was after getting shot in the face by a gunship_, Shepard thought, chuckling. She turned on the shower, enjoying the steam against her sore body. Everything was happening so quickly. She had already assembled a good part of her team: the Professor, the Veteran, the Convict, a suitable replacement for the Warlord, the Master Thief, and, of course, "Archangel." She laughed at the name as she stepped into the hot cascading water. The title was so dramatic – so not-Garrus. Yet, it fit with what he had become – a vigilante fighting for the weak, the poor, the forgotten. Even on the Citadel, during his C-Sec days, she remembered Garrus had always strived to be this symbol, this force of justice. Limitations, rules, regulations… **morality** had hindered him.

Back then, she had provided him an outlet to a world where he thought he wouldn't be burned by such things. Together they confronted Dr. Saleon. Garrus had been ready to shoot the mad salarian on the spot. But Shepard showed him the power of mercy, even if the doctor was not willing to receive it. _You can't predict how people will react, Garrus, but you can control how you'll respond. In the end, that's what really matters_. Even in her second life, Shepard believed that to be true. Garrus was different after that, in a good way. The relief he felt knowing that Dr. Saleon was no longer a part of the galaxy made him more open to change. He was less cynical. Recharged in his fight for justice. Rejuvenated.

Even though they had the hot water to spare, Shepard finished her shower as quickly as if she was on an Alliance vessel. In one of their talks, Kelly had asked her what it felt like, waking up and realizing that two years had gone by. Did it feel like she had just been napping? Or did her mind register the two years she was Miranda's science experiment?

"Honestly, a bit of both," Shepard told her. "Sometimes it feels like nothing happened, that I'll walk into the CIC and Pressly will be there, saluting as always. Then other times, I don't know, I notice the changes not just in others, but in myself."

"The scars will fade," Kelly said, placing her hand on the commander's. Shepard wasn't used to such touchy-feely camaraderie. She wasn't even sure why she was telling Kelly any of this - she was Cerberus after all. But there were certain members of the crew that she found herself warming to and the yeoman was one of them.

"It's not the scars," Shepard said. "It's difficult to explain." Chambers had tried to press her for a more specific answer, but the commander really couldn't find the words to describe it.

Back in her cabin, she had finished getting dressed and her thoughts wandered back to Garrus. He wasn't rejuvenated anymore. The events on Omega had broken him down. She had tried to pry out some information from him. He was willing to tell her the basic facts: He had been betrayed by one of his teammates, Sidonis, and it had cost him his whole squad. But he had put a wall up after she tried to find out the finer details. "A wall of calibrations." She chuckled and settled down at her desk. Miranda had left another one of her robotic reports for her to review.

The Normandy was on her way to Horizon. _To Kaidan_, she thought. She knew she should be excited to see him, but all Shepard felt was dread. She looked over at the biotic's picture on her desk. Cerberus had tried to make her feel more at home by placing her former lover's picture in her cabin, but she thought it was just plain creepy. The memento was also a constant reminder that she had no idea what Kaidan's reaction was going to be when they finally stood face to face. She wasn't naïve. It wasn't like she disappeared for two years – she **died**. Still, no one would tell her anything about had happened after her death. _Well, nothing more than "It's been two years," or something equally obvious, but vague._ Still, the haunting expressions that Joker and Dr. Chakwas had tried to mask unnerved her.

She didn't bother to ask Garrus. The turian and Kaidan had been cordial on the first Normandy, but Shepard knew it was all for the sake of the mission. For whatever reason, they rubbed each other the wrong way. If Garrus had fallen out of touch with the rest of the crew, she seriously doubted he would know anything about Kaidan's life after her death.

Shepard fully expected that her Lieutenant had moved on. She was ready for that. But she still wanted her old team back, the unstoppable team that took down Sovereign, and that included Kaidan Alenko. His biotic abilities were a valuable asset. And she needed people she knew from before for her own personal, emotional reasons.

She set down the datapad and leaned back in her chair. Closing her eyes, she lightly ran her fingers against her left palm. She savored the little tingles emitted from the contact. While she was sturdier in a firefight, Shepard found her new body was quite sensitive. She tried to remember that night before Ilos, the feeling of being over him, commanding him wordlessly with her hips to move as she moved, his soft lips and strong hands on her body.

As with her previous attempts, Shepard felt nothing. The memory was lost – like the parts of her body that had been replaced with cybernetics – the visual was there, but that was it.

Rolling her eyes and pushing herself away from the desk, Shepard decided she needed to get out of her cabin. Too much alone time made her think about things she just didn't have the time for. She had to get the crew ready for Horizon.

Garrus heard the commander's quick strides to the forward battery, but remained facing his console. Since recruiting Grunt, he had only left his post to eat and shower. The new thanix cannon had been installed earlier than he thought possible, thanks to Cerberus's credits and Shepard's obsession with probing planets.

"It helps me relax," she had insisted.

"Right…" Garrus teased. "As relaxing as haggling with a volus, I'm sure."

She smiled and crossed her arms. "At least you don't have to worry about fixing up the Mako anymore."

Garrus's throat emitted the human equivalent from a gagging noise before turning around on the spot, mumbling about how mountains aren't short cuts and sane people do not consider diving off cliffs the same thing as driving.

"I said I was sorry!" Shepard had called after him, laughing.

Garrus smiled at the memory, as he heard the door slide open. "Shepard, need me for something?"

She seemed tense, but he was still getting used to reading human body language again. Not that he had been very good at it before.

"I'm taking you with me on Horizon," she said. "Can you leave your new baby for a few hours?"

_Spirits, human slang_, Garrus thought, internally shaking his head, but outwardly nodding in confirmation. "I'll be ready, Shepard."

She smiled softly, before taking a seat to his right. Lately, she had been coming down to just sit as he worked. It was a bit unnerving at first, but he had grown to enjoy her uncharacteristically quiet presence. If any doubts from his morning musings began to invade his thoughts, he could just look over and see Shepard sitting there to know that this was definitely real.

"I'm trying to decide who else to bring," she said.

The small plate above his eye rose slightly and his mandibles twitched. She had never discussed her decisions on who or who not to bring on missions with him before. _This has to be about Alenko_. Garrus had overheard the doctor, Kasumi, and the nosy yeoman gossiping in the mess hall. _Human females. Put them in a group and they're worse than quarians_. To be fair, the doctor was trying to keep the facts straight, while the younger girls played out fantastical reunions between the commander and Alenko. "Who are you considering?"

She leaned back against the metal wall. "Well, I know I'm leaving Miranda and Jacob behind, for sure. If there is an," she paused, "Alliance presence there, it would look bad if I showed up with Cerberus Operatives in my main squad."

"But the council knows you are working with Cerberus to investigate the disappearance of human colonies… Would it be so strange for you to be seen with one of their operatives?" Garrus asked, turning from his console.

She considered his question for a moment. "The council knows, but if Kaidan is actually stationed on Horizon, he might not."

Garrus nodded and went back to work, proud of himself for reading the situation properly and a bit annoyed that Alenko's opinion mattered at all.

"Either way, I think things will go more smoothly if he sees you and one of the crew that is firmly not Cerberus," Shepard said.

"He'll just need to see you, Shepard," Garrus said, after a pause. "Alenko was there on Ilos. The three of us traveled through the conduit to reach the Citadel. He'll follow you. I hardly think some Cerberus Operative, even one as icy as Miranda, could change that."

Shepard grinned. "Maybe I'll take Mordin? Kaidan won't be able to put in a word of protest once we get the professor talking."

"Or tip off Zaeed to start telling one his stories if things start turning sour," Garrus said.

"I don't know… The scarred trio might be a bit too intimidating!" Shepard laughed. The three only noticed the similarity when they were all suited up to board the Purgatory. Joker had been the one to point it out, of course: _"So, just asking not requesting, but do I have to have my face blown off to join this club too?"_

Garrus's mandibles flared as he laughed, before he instinctively reached up to the bandage. The wound was taking forever to heal. The room grew quiet again.

"I wish Tali were here." Shepard sighed.

"Tali?" Garrus asked. "I'd rather take Wrex in this situation. If Alenko was being hard headed, he'd just threaten to eat him."

The two friends both erupted with laughter, remembering how Wrex had threatened the security on Noveria. They hardly heard Joker's voice over the intercom, informing them, Horizon was, well… on the Horizon.

**Author's Note:** Thanks for reading! Just to let y'all know, I plan on mostly just writing scenes between the missions. The missions will be discussed in hindsight, but I'm really interested in just filling in the blanks between the few conversations we have between Femshep and Garrus. Please review! It really helps to motivate me to update more quickly.


	3. Post Horizon

**Author's Note:** Thanks for all the feedback. And special thanks to ghostflowers.x, Zyy, Redglade, RayneEthelWolf, Jokerine, WeebleCat, and Lightan117 for reviewing! Time for the next installment!

**Disclaimer:** Everything belongs to BioWare. I own nothing!

Garrus had had some awkward shuttle rides in his time, but this one took the cake. He crossed his arms and nervously rubbed his taloned toes against the inside of his boot. Shepard sat across from him, her face as frozen as Horizon's colonists had been just minutes ago. She stared out the window, her green eyes focusing on the fading structures of the now half-empty colony. She looked calm, but his visor revealed her elevated heart rate. _I should say something_, he thought. _But what?_ His mandibles clicked against his teeth and he opened his mouth to speak.

Shepard cut him off. "Well, it could have gone worse." She forced a small smile and rolled her shoulders, but didn't look at him.

"Certainly could have gone worse!" Mordin exclaimed, his large eyes bright. "Personally thought the mission was quite a success. Saved half the colony. Pleased with armor upgrade. Wasn't entirely sure how it would react. Glad to have tested it in person… And survive, of course." He let out a small cough, which everyone onboard the Normandy had figured out was the doctor's version of nervous laughter.

Garrus rolled his eyes and leaned forward. "Kaidan's an idiot, Shepard."

"He stood by what he believes in. Can't fault him for that," Shepard replied, the tone of her voice saying otherwise.

"Watch me," Garrus growled. It wasn't like the Commander to give in so easily. _She always has handled Alenko with, what's that human saying? Kid gloves?_

The professor looked back and forth between the two. He noted how they were sitting almost in the exact same position: arms crossed, guarded. Shepard's lack of blinking and eye contact also pointed to concealment. And Officer Vakarian's incessant rubbing of his talons against his armor to create friction in an attempt to remain calm told Solus that the turian was holding something back as well. _Kaidan Alenko. The alliance soldier. Part of Shepard's former crew? They embraced on Horizon. Common behavior among acquainted humans, but he mentioned, "love." A serious relationship perhaps?_ Mordin's mind reeled with the possibilities, while Garrus and Shepard continued their silent stalemate.

"Did not realize Kaidan Alenko was a potential crewmate. The Illusive Man had a dossier on him?" Mordin finally asked.

Shepard looked away from the window. "No, but he was a part of the original Normandy. I had hoped he would join us." She sounded more tired than usual.

"Hates Cerberus. More than some aliens. Thought I was brought to test armor, but perhaps you hoped to quell doubts with alien squad?" The salarian's tone was not one of offense, but genuine curiosity.

Garrus tipped his head slightly, impressed. Although seemingly uninterested in having a relationship, Mordin was much better at reading other species than he was.

Shepard nodded. "The primary reason was to test the armor, but I had hoped Garrus and your presence would help persuade Kaidan." She turned towards the window, settling back into her previous position. "I was wrong."

"He's. An. Idiot," Garrus repeated, his double voice punctuating each word with more venom than a human could ever muster.

Shepard sent him a warning glance. The conversation was over. Garrus huffed in annoyance, but remained silent for the rest of the ride back to the Normandy.

When they finally made it back to the ship, Shepard pushed past both of them, muttering to EDI that she would be in her quarters and did not want to be disturbed. Garrus waited in the cargo hold until the elevator doors shut. It had been hard enough to stay quiet on the shuttle. He didn't want to test his anger in an even smaller area. _Elevators rides seem to be a place to share… I don't think Shepard would appreciate that right now._

Mordin had stayed behind as well, pretending to review a datapad. Once Shepard was out of earshot, he cleared his throat and said, "For what it's worth, Kaidan Alenko seemed to possess above average intelligence for a human, but prejudice often hinders capable minds."

Garrus shook his head and began walking towards the exit. "I stand by my original statement. I've known the idiot longer than you, doctor. If he can't see that Shepard isn't the same thing as Cerberus then he isn't fit to be on this crew."

"Agreed," Mordin whispered.

...

Shepard collapsed on her bed, not even bothering to remove her armor. She had tried to remain as strong as possible during the conversation on Horizon, but Kaidan's words had cut deep. _Traitor_, she thought. _He called me a traitor. _A sudden pressure constricted around her heart and she took a deep breath. The conversation continued to replay in her head.

_You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed me._

She closed her eyes. He had looked at her so differently. She had grown used to turning around and seeing his adoring puppy eyes following behind her. She was used to him listening to _her_ orders, even over the Alliance. How could one word, "Cerberus," destroy that loyalty and turn him against her? After everything they had been through – Stealing the Normandy, Ash's death… Ilos. One word and she was no longer Commander Shepard, but a traitor.

She remembered Garrus's words both on Horizon and in the shuttle. _Damn it, Kaidan, you're so focused on Cerberus you're ignoring the real threat._ Kaidan had ignored him completely. Shepard had suspected something happened between the two after her death, but now she was certain of it. _He didn't even so much as nod to Garrus. _She had been so focused on his embrace that she hadn't noticed it at the time. The hug alone should have told her things were not going to go well. It was awkward… forced. She remembered telling Kelly that there were times when she felt like the past two years had never happened – that hug was the most painful reminder that it had.

The searing hot emotion of rage began to burn at the edges of her mind. He had acted like she'd been alive all this time. Like she had abandoned him. _Why didn't you try to contact me? Why didn't you let me know you were alive?_

"I was dead!" Shepard yelled and threw a pillow across her cabin. She began to rip off pieces of her armor. Her anger was suffocating and she needed the ship's cool air against her body to calm down. _How could he say that me? How could he not see that this is about the reapers – not Cerberus! Hell, Garrus, a __**turian**__, was able to look past that fact and just see that it was __**me**__ asking for his help._

Down to her black bodysuit, Shepard was able to breath again. She thought about taking a shower, but decided against it. _I shouldn't be up here for too long. People will talk_. Quickly she changed into her Cerberus uniform, rolling up the sleeves of the three-toned shirt. Heading for the door she could feel the hologram of Kaidan staring at her, but she refused to look at it.

…

"You have unread messages at your private terminal," Kelly chimed, more bubbly than usual, as soon as Shepard stepped out of the elevator. The commander nodded, making her way towards her computer.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kelly biting her lip. "I saw the reports on Horizon, commander," she said. "What you did was amazing."

Shepard smiled slightly. Kelly's flattery was sometimes off-putting, but it had become a rare consistency in her life aboard the Normandy. "The report mentioned Kaidan Alenko was there…" The yeoman paused, apprehensive. "How did that go?"

_So they were listening over the comm._ Shepard thought, not surprised. Joker was always listening in on missions. Of course, the romantic yeoman would want to eavesdrop on her reunion with Kaidan. _I hope they didn't make popcorn and invite the whole crew_.

"It was good to see him," Shepard replied. It was a vague answer, but she hardly thought the CIC was a proper place to have this conversation.

"Do you have strong feelings for him?" Kelly practically blurted out.

Shepard exhaled, annoyed, pushing away from her console. They were supposed to be fighting reapers, not chatting like schoolgirls. "What we had together is in the past now." Her voice was low, a sign for Chambers to drop it.

"I'm sorry," the yeoman said, quickly. Kelly's brows drew together and her eyes gleamed with pity, which only made Shepard more frustrated. Lack of privacy and gossip were natural parts of a spacer life, but that didn't mean she had to enjoy it.

"Parting ways with someone so close is never easy." Kelly moved past the navigational map, attempting to place a hand on Shepard's shoulder, but the commander politely put her hand up to stop.

"You just get over it." She had meant it to sound lighthearted, but she could tell that Chambers was taken aback.

"I understand," Kelly replied and moved back to her station.

_And now she thinks you're a robot… A robot who needs more counseling_, Shepard scolded herself. She sighed and said as nicely as she could, "I'm going to check in with Joker."

Kelly nodded, but kept her eyes averted. Sensitivity was another, albeit small, reminder that this was not the original Normandy. Shepard made a mental note to have a drink with the yeoman later… in the mess hall, of course. She could never quite tell what Kelly's intentions were and alcohol always made ambiguous situations worse.

As she walked towards the helm, she heard Joker and EDI's usual banter. Ever since Kasumi compared them to an old married couple, Shepard couldn't get that picture out of her head. EDI didn't have a face, but the commander had begun seeing an attractive blonde in a red dress when she heard the computer's voice. _I seem to recall Joker liking blondes… _The two quieted down when they heard her approach. Joker turned around slowly. He hadn't even said anything and he was already blushing. _Let's get this over with,_ Shepard inwardly groaned.

"Hey commander, it's uh… pretty crazy the people you can run into out here, huh?" Joker said.

Shepard shifted her weight to one leg. _Not his best._

"I mean it was probably a set-up or something but it was still good to see Kaidan – Staff-Commander Alenko," he corrected himself. "Wasn't it?"

_No smartass remark_._ Even Joker is worried… This is worse than I thought, _Shepard thought.

"Yeah we talked." Shepard shrugged. "It was nice, but things have changed. We let it go." For the first time that day, she actually sounded like she believed what she said.

Joker's shoulders relaxed and he grinned. "Oh good, cause I was not looking forward to your mood if that went bad. There's a reason I don't date crew, commander."

_And there it is._ Shepard smiled; glad to see things back to normal. "I'm **sure** you wouldn't jump Miranda or Kelly if they gave you the chance."

"Jumping is not advisable for someone with Mr. Moreau's condition, commander," EDI cut in.

…

Shepard spent the next hour or so answering questions from the nosier members of the crew, namely Kasumi. Despite her previous difficulties with Kelly, Shepard felt much more comfortable opening up to the master thief. She knew Kasumi was still grieving over Keiji and was looking for any distraction she could find. If her comparably small relationship issues with Kaidan provided that distraction then Shepard was happy to help.

Miranda had also stopped to chat, but their exchange was much more clinical. It was obvious her XO was back into "Lazarus-Mode" and seemed equally amused and annoyed when Shepard reassured her that her "science project" was still going to win first prize in the fair.

Finally she reached her original destination: the forward battery. Kaidan being angry she could deal with, but Shepard felt oddly anxious about being on Garrus's bad side. He had better sense than Kaidan. It was something she had always known, but never said to either of them. It was the reason Garrus came on every mission and Kaidan only on some. Shepard chose favorites. She never tried to hide that fact. But just because she had a romantic relationship with the biotic didn't mean he was the best choice for missions. Kaidan was naïve and idealistic. He couldn't make the hard decisions. _Like taking money and equipment from Cerberus if it means saving colonists from the Collectors._

Also Garrus could take her in hand-to-hand combat. She chuckled, mimicking his talons with her thumb, pointer, and middle fingers. The door slid open and Garrus suddenly stood before her, his arms crossed and head tilted to the side.

"Commander, do I even want to know what you are doing?"

Shepard jerked her hands behind her back and laughed. "No…"

She looked up at him. It was strange how often she forgot just how tall he was. His pupils shrank as he focused on her. She could tell he was trying to read her expression, but her antics would have been silly to a fellow human, much less a turian. "Got a minute to talk?"

She expected some excuse, but he merely stepped back, letting her inside. _Well he's still pissed, but at least he's willing to talk_. "How long did you know I was out there?"

"Long enough to wonder why you weren't coming in to bothering me," Garrus teased. He leaned against his work console. It was almost unnerving to see him so relaxed. Lately he was always itching to get back to work. She knew he hadn't finished calibrations on the new cannons. She shifted back and forth on her feet uncomfortably before sitting down next to his workstation.

For a few moments, the only sounds in the room were the hum of the battery and Garrus and Shepard's soft breathing. He was looking at the door, but she knew he was studying her through the corner of his eye – his visor picking up all her vitals. She made sure to keep her breathing level. She didn't want this to be dramatic. Neither of them liked that sort of thing. She wished she had taken the time to study turian body language. She had never told him, but the first week or so on the Normandy, she had thought he was always pissed off at her. Later she realized that's just the way his faceplates looked. She had learned to notice his version of a smile or scowl – the extremes. But the subtle emotions were still a challenge. Liara had told her once to focus on the mandibles. Like a cat's ears, they were the easiest way to read a turian's mood. Garrus's were currently flat against his jaw. _Not a good sign._

"I lied to you on the shuttle," Shepard said, her voice even. "I wanted to apologize for that."

Garrus couldn't stop his neck from snapping towards her. "I never thought I'd see the day when the great Commander Shepard-"

"Garrus…" She interrupted, her voice playfully wary. "Don't look so damned pleased with yourself."

"Alright, alright." His mandibles flared, which was a turian smile. She returned the gesture, and placed her hands on her knees to stand. "As long as I hear you say it."

"Say what?"

"That Kaidan's an idiot."

Shepard scoffed, but the grin never left her face. "You can't be serious."

Garrus leaned against the door, furthering the challenge by blocking her only exit. "I'm afraid I'm quite serious, commander. Otherwise I will have to walk around the ship looking so 'damned pleased with myself,' that you will never question turian pride again."

"Ah, turian pride," Shepard said, throwing her hands in the air. "How could I forget?"

"Not sure. Turian egos are very large."

Shepard's eyes widened and she pressed her lips together to keep from giggling. Garrus's faceplates deepened, obviously confused at the sudden loss of control over the conversation. He understood a fraction of a second later and stuttered, "I- I mean. Well they are. Damn it Shepard, just say the idiot is an idiot so I can get back to work."

Shepard smirked and took a step closer to him. Garrus craned his head back slightly as the distance between them grew smaller. Shepard was unpredictable. If she was preparing to send a kick to his fringe, he wanted to be ready. As her hand reached out, he began to move towards a fighting stance, and was stunned when she merely patted him on his chest plate. "The idiot is an idiot," she whispered, then sauntered out the door.

The skin beneath where she touched his armor tingled, his mind still in fight mode. Garrus watched her leave until the doors whooshed shut, then returned to his calibrations.

**Author's Note:** Thanks for waiting for this chapter! I hope you enjoyed it! Picking up Tali in the next chapter probably. Thanks for reading and please review!


	4. Recruiting Tali

**Author's Note:** Wow! Thanks for all the feedback! I plan on Tali being a big part of the story as well – not as a love triangle or anything, don't worry, but just as Shepard's best friend. I am really trying to stick very closely to the game.

A special thanks to Weeblecat, Sonya Robinwood, Lightan117, Sedgehammer, SinSaverus, Laura-Star16, RayneEthelwulf, Xzotic, My Reality Is Fiction, and for reviewing! I really appreciate it!

**Disclaimer:** Everything belongs to BioWare. I own nothing!

Shepard leaned back in her chair and groaned. She had thought that since the Normandy was no longer an Alliance vessel, then perhaps that would mean less paperwork. She was getting a little tired of being wrong. Her usually (relatively) neat cabin was now covered in scattered datapads, empty, used coffee mugs, and an occasional article of her Cerberus uniform. The Illusive Man had sent over the next batch of dossiers, and her initial reaction was one of joy. Tali was among the potential specialists. She had ordered Joker to set a course for Haestrom right away, but now alone with her self-made fort of datapads, she felt uneasy. Tali had already refused to join her on Freedom's Progress and she was still exhausted from the encounter with Kaidan on Horizon. During her first meeting with the Illusive Man, she had been so positive of her team – of course they would drop everything to join her. But Horizon had really shown her just how much time has past. _But not enough to dilute any hatred towards Cerberus apparently,_ Shepard thought.

The commander wasn't pining over Kaidan. In fact, she was surprised by how easily she was able to move on from their time together. It had hurt more that he wouldn't join her as a soldier, than a man. Just when the whole situation had begun to make a home in the farther recesses of her mind, she received an email from Alenko.

"Commander, you have a new message at your private terminal," Kelly had said, a slight note of tension in her voice. Shepard noticed that the yeoman always sounded that way when she had bad news.

_What is the use of a __**private**__ terminal if Chambers and Miranda are always reading my messages before me?_ Shepard thought, nodding to Kelly. As soon as she saw the subject, "About Horizon…" she knew she should read it in her cabin. But the yeoman was watching her intently and Shepard didn't want Chambers thinking she was up there crying over some ex-boyfriend. Taking a deep breath, she braced herself for another onslaught of accusations from the biotic and clicked "open."

All things considered, it wasn't a **terrible** message. He had apologized right away, but then followed it up by telling her he was dating some doctor on the Citadel. _I wonder if it's the same one Garrus and I helped out all those years ago. I think she emailed me… What was her name again?_ The fact that he had started dating didn't surprise her. It didn't hurt to read as much as it just felt… weird. She tried to remind herself of the obvious, again – it's been two years, blah, blah, blah. It wasn't like their relationship had been set in stone even before the Normandy went down. They didn't have problems, per say, but she had started having doubts. He was just so formal all the time. Shepard had thought that after Ilos, he would loosen up a bit, but he continued to call her ma'am and hang off of her every word. Now that he wasn't listening to her at all, she wondered if that had been such a bad thing…

The rest of the email said nothing new: I don't trust Cerberus and be careful. He had alluded to maybe continuing things later when she was done with Cerberus, but Shepard knew it was over. Horizon had been the breaking point. It was her turn to feel betrayed and she honestly didn't know if the resentment she felt from him not joining her would ever fade. _Maybe as a friend, but nothing more_.

Kelly was still watching her. Without looking up from the screen, Shepard said, "I'm fine, Kelly. Thanks for your concern."

Chambers jumped slightly, then smiled warmly and turned back to her own workstation.

Coming back from the memory, Shepard looked over at Kaidan's holo. She didn't know why she hadn't gotten rid of it. They were over. A nagging thought in the back of her mind told her it was because the moment she did trash the holo, she would be recognizing the past two years had happened.

Deep down, it was still hard to accept she had died. She couldn't remember anything after passing out from the lack of oxygen. Shepard didn't know if that meant there was nothing after death or if she just wasn't supposed to remember when she returned to the mortal plain. She wanted to believe the latter, but it wouldn't shock her if the former were true. Either way, she wanted to stay alive.

…

"Ready to get Tali?" Garrus heard Shepard ask. He had been waiting with Zaeed by the shuttle for fifteen minutes. The merc was one of the few humans on the ship other than Shepard that Garrus enjoyed talking with. It boiled down to two reasons: he wasn't Cerberus and had fantastic taste when it came to both assault and sniper rifles.

"Ready as an Asari whore at Afterlife," Zaeed replied, throwing both weapons behind his back.

"What he said," Garrus said, amused.

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Charming."

The three boarded the shuttle and Shepard banged on the door to start their descent to Haestrom.

Once they were in the atmosphere, Shepard began her usual routine of checking all her weapons were in good condition and fully loaded. Jacob did a good job, but everyone could make mistakes. She'd rather find out on the shuttle than the battlefield.

"Any idea what we can expect?" Garrus asked.

"Only that it's an abandoned quarian colony," Shepard answered, settling her shotgun across her lap. "But technically we are in Geth space, so be prepared."

"Locked and loaded, Shepard." Zaeed said, the possibility of battle raising his blood's the temperature. "A few machines aren't going to slow me down. We'll rescue the quarian princess."

"I wouldn't call Tali a princess to her face… err, helmet. Might hit a little too close to home, her father being on the admiralty board and all," Garrus said.

Shepard tried to keep a straight face, but it was difficult when she was imagining Tali in a poofy dress, like something out of the classic vids. "Just be ready."

The shuttle was close to Haestrom's surface now. All three studied the ruin through the window. After serving with Tali on the original Normandy, Shepard considered herself one of the more knowledgeable humans when it came to quarians. But she didn't really know what to expect when it came to their architecture – very few, human or otherwise, did. The ruin seemed to be mostly made of stone and metal. _It's boxier than I imagined_, Shepard thought, looking at the fallen rectangular columns and debris. Quarians were one of the curvier alien races, so she had assumed their architecture would be similar. _Wrong again…_

As the shuttle prepared to land, the three warriors noticed something peculiar: a bug that had been happily crawling in the shadows of the ruin, suddenly burned to a crisp once it entered direct sunlight. "Well that's not good," Garrus muttered.

On cue, EDI chimed in, "Shepard, our data indicates that Tali is somewhere in these ruins. There is considerable geth activity, and an environmental hazard. Solar output has overwhelmed Haestrom's protective magnetosphere. Exposure to direct sunlight will damage your shields."

Shepard jumped out of the shuttle first, taking point. "And I was just thinking I needed to work on my tan a bit," she heard the merc snigger behind her.

…

Garrus's throat emitted a quiet, approving hum as he listened to Shepard and Tali chatting ecstatically in the mess hall. From the main battery, his turian hearing could pick up a few words here and there; just enough to know it was a happy conversation. He knew the commander had been worried about whether their old friend would join the mission. But Tali had come through for her. While Tali didn't always quite get Garrus's humor, they were good friends. She was one of the few people he had kept in contact with for a couple of months after Shepard's death before cutting all ties and leaving for Omega.

He strained to hear more of their conversation. Something about a card game with the engineers that Shepard had won. _You could just join them, Vakarian_, he told himself. But he didn't want to intrude on the conversation. Alien or not, Garrus knew not to interrupt female gatherings. Pulling out one of his dextro-protein bars, Garrus settled next to the door, making his eavesdropping a little easier.

…

"I'm pretty sure Kenneth is going to want a rematch, Shepard," Tali said, her helmet's ventilator almost enhancing her delighted tone.

"I think I'll stop while I'm ahead." Shepard laughed and poured another glass of wine. It was late. They were the only ones left in the mess hall, but Gardner had given Shepard a bottle of his reserves before heading to bed. A thank you for the grocery shopping she had done for him on the Citadel.

"I hope that doesn't mean you'll be avoiding engineering!" Tali said. "I don't know how many friends I'll be making on a Cerberus vessel."

"Don't worry, I have no plans to stop bothering you. I might just have to pull rank, if he challenges me again." Shepard took a large sip of her wine. It wasn't anything special, but it felt good to relax. She felt bad that Tali couldn't do the same, but the quarian insisted the commander didn't deprive herself on her account. "Garrus will be happy to not have me hanging around the battery all the time."

Tali giggled and shook her head.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"Nothing, nothing." Tali waved her gloved hand dismissively. "Some things never change."

The room stilled. Shepard pinched the stem of her wine glass, slowly twirling it on the table. When she thought about it, she used to distract Garrus when he worked on the Mako, two years ago. He was always cursing in his native tongue, causing her translator to glitch on some of the more colorful words. The completely foreign clicks and growls were fascinating to her. So much so, that she would intentionally drive recklessly to ensure she would hear them later on. "I guess that's true."

Tali's softly glowing eyes squinted through her helmet. "Are we going to talk about Kaidan or is that just going to remain the elcor in the room?"

"Hopeful: Kaidan who?" Shepard asked, mimicking the elcor's monotone speech.

Tali laughed and shook her head. "Alright, alright. I can take a hint."

Shepard began pouring a third glass of wine, happy to see that her tolerance had raised since the night she shared that bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy with Dr. Chakwas. "Actually, there was something I wanted to ask you."

"Oh?"

"I tried talking to Joker and the doctor about it, but they keep giving me the run around," Shepard said. "After I died… Did something happen between Kaidan and Garrus?"

Tali's breath hitched slightly and she instinctively looked at the main battery. "Shepard… I don't-"

"Come on, Tali," Shepard interrupted, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. "How bad could it be?"

Tali exhaled loudly. "I wasn't there when it happened. Just heard about it later from the doctor." The quarian linked her fingers together, something she did when she was nervous. "But apparently when Kaidan and Garrus found Joker's escape pod, he kind of snapped."

"What do you mean? Snapped?"

"He went nuts. Started tearing the pod apart," Tali whispered quickly. "He blamed them for your death and attacked Kaidan. It took the whole search team to subdue him."

Shepard's eyebrows rose, stunned, and she stole a glance at the main battery's closed door. It wasn't hard to see Garrus angry, she had seen that plenty of times before, but she couldn't seem to picture him out of control. The former C-Sec officer had built up a laid back persona, but she knew underneath all that was a soldier. Shepard took another sip of her wine, unable to think of anything to say.

"That's just what I heard though," Tali exclaimed, obviously afraid she had said too much. "Like I said, I wasn't there. Maybe the whole thing was exaggerated."

"I don't think so," Shepard replied. "On Horizon, Kaidan didn't say one word to Garrus."

The two women sat silently. Shepard finishing off her glass of wine, while Tali shifted in her seat uncomfortably. "Keelah, please don't tell Garrus I said anything to you," she blurted out.

Shepard grinned. Tali was easily flustered, it was one of her favorite qualities the quarian possessed. "It is strange that he didn't tell me any of this, himself…" She teased.

"Shepard, I'm serious!" Tali said. "You know how much he idolizes you. If he didn't tell you, it's because he didn't want you to know."

"I think 'idolize' is a bit extreme." Shepard chuckled, a blush gracing her cheeks.

Tali huffed and leaned forward. "Are you kidding? The man left his stable job on the Citadel to serve on a **human** ship and take orders from some **human** female and work with a **human** crew! I bet he didn't even hesitate to join you when you found him on Omega, even with Cerberus at your side!"

"Well, I mean," Shepard began, "he didn't have much choice. The whole missile in the face thing. We had to bring him aboard."

"Yes, but after you patched him up?" Tali pressed.

Shepard thought back the conversation she and Garrus had had in the comm. room. He had said a few choice words about Cerberus, but Tali was right… Shepard never had any doubt the turian would join her. _You realize this plan has me walking into hell, too… Just like old times,_ she remembered him saying. Shepard smiled and shook her head. "He's loyal, that's for sure."

Tali groaned. "Just don't tell him, okay? I don't want a visit from an angry turian tomorrow!" She placed her hands on the table, and pushed herself to a standing position. "I should get some sleep."

"Alright Tali," Shepard said, standing as well. "It's good to have you back."

"Of course, Shepard."

…

Garrus lightly banged his forehead against the metal wall of the main battery. _Damn quarians_, he growled inwardly. _Gossiping, big mouthed, suit wearing scavengers!_ It was bad enough she had let slip how he had acted on the rescue mission. But to go on and tell the commander how he **idolized** her? Garrus groaned. If turians could blush, he would be as red as the Bloodpack's armor. _I don't __**idolize**__…_

He heard the two women stand. _Finally_, he thought, _I can go to bed_. He looked around the room to make sure he had everything. When he was about to leave, he heard footsteps heading his way. _Act normal, Vakarian,_ he told himself. _Act normal!_

The doors slid open, revealing Shepard's thin frame. She had positively smug look on her face. "Garrus."

"Shepard."

"You're up awfully late," she said, entering the room.

"Just finishing up some cal-"

"Calibrations, yeah, yeah." Shepard yawned.

"I'm almost finished with the new cannon."

Shepard chuckled. "I look forward to your new excuse to avoid social interaction."

Garrus scoffed, "I'm not avoiding social interaction! If you had any experience in calibrating a weapon of this size you would understand why it's taking me so long!"

Shepard leaned against his console, grinning at him. "Alright, Vakarian, I believe you. Don't get so worked up."

There was an awkward pause as the subject came to a close. Garrus waited for her to say why she came in here, but she continued to just stare at him. He cleared his throat. "Have a nice chat with Tali?"

Shepard clapped her hands together. "I **knew** you were listening!"

Garrus's mandibles twitched as he stuttered, "I-I wasn't listening! I mean, I ca-can't help if I hear a few things. Y-you two talking so loudly!"

Shepard practically howled at his excuse. It was the first time since her death that he had seen her wear her emotions so freely. "Tali was whispering half the time!"

Garrus's taloned finger pointed towards his ear hole. "Turian hearing."

"Turian hearing, turian pride… are you going to blame everything on your race, Vakarian?" She asked.

He was relieved to see she wasn't angry with him for eavesdropping. Still, he felt like he had a right to know what was being said about him. "Only when it applies to the situation, commander."

Shepard expression changed. Her open mouth grin closed to a small smile and her eyes softened. Like she had the other night, Shepard began to close the distance between them. She knew it was cause of the wine, but she suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to let him know in some way that she appreciated him just being there. But their friendship had always been more about actions than words. Jokes sugarcoating sentiment that neither of them were comfortable voicing. His small blue eyes darted back and forth across her face. She was confusing him.

"Shepard?" his double voice questioned.

"Sorry," she muttered stepping back. "It's late. Too much wine."

He laughed, softly. As she turned to leave, Garrus lightly touched her forearm. "About what Tali said…"

"We all do rash things when we're upset, Garrus," Shepard stated firmly.

Garrus nodded, his mandibles flat against his jaw. Shepard once again started to leave, when his voice stopped her. "And about the other thing…"

Shepard's heart beat quickened, though she was unsure why. The blush from her previous conversation returned to her cheeks. "Yes?" she asked, her back still turned to him.

"I, um…" He started pacing. "You know I respect you, Shepard."

She cocked her head to the side. _Where is this going?_

"Idolize is just such a strong word," Garrus said, his eyes looking everywhere but her. "You know how Tali can be. Quarians in general. They like to exaggerate. I mean, I do respect you. Like I said. It's just, you know… I mean, I don't idolize…" he rambled.

"Garrus," Shepard said, but the turian continued on his rant about respect, but not idolization and how nosy quarians are. "Garrus!"

He stood at attention, finally shutting up. "I got it," she said, a hint of laughter under her words. "Point is clear."

"Ah, okay." Garrus visibly relaxed, his large shoulders slacking. "Good."

The opened-mouth grin returned to Shepard's face. "Get some sleep, Officer Vakarian."

"Yes, commander."

**Author's Note:** I promise to do some FemShep/Garrus scenes that happen in places other than the shuttle and the main battery in the future hahaha. The team is headed to Illium next :) Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please review!


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